There's no doubt that engineering is male dominated and as a woman it is sometimes hard to find your place and feel like you belong. It took my a while but I was helped by a number of leaders (mostly men). I thought I'd share some of these stories with the view of highlighting some of the things that I have felt and also how men took action to help me. My sense is that it's not always obvious how to act to support women (if you have not got that lived experience) and women don't and shouldn't always have to ask for help.
There are some common themes of what I noticed when I encountered inclusive leaders:
They noticed – they were aware enough to see that perhaps that I looked uncomfortable, perhaps that something was new, that they could easily help
They were kind – they took simple action and it had a kind tone and a sense of care about it
They listened to me – and through this they understood and I felt valued
They were a bit vulnerable– they shared their story or a sense of how they felt
They made an effort – they did something that they did not have to do – it was a choice, it took a tiny bit of extra effort – but the impact was very significant to me
I hope by sharing these, that it can help others to reflect on how they are/could be inclusive and also recognise times when people may need help or support and think about how to create a more inclusive environment.
In one of my first placements as a grad trainee I was working in a department looking at cost reduction. As part of this we decided that we needed to run a workshop with some of the best company designers and experts to explore some new manufacturing technologies and how they may improve cost. I was asked to design and run the event. This was my first experience of running a workshop and certainly something of this size and scale. I was nervous! I remember my line manager supported me, he took me to the large conference room we were going to run the event in. He spent time with me helping me to practice presenting. He stood at the back of the room and gave me feedback on my projecting and impact of what I was saying. He did it in a supportive way, not a critical way. He didn’t need to take this time, he didn’t need to give me the opportunity to lead this event. But he did and through his actions he gave me the confidence to run a brilliant workshop which set me up superbly for my future.
In my first manager job I was working as a quality manager in engineering. I had been paired with a range of senior leaders as their Quality business partner with varying levels of engagement from their teams. This paring with the senior leader was different. He treated me as a integral part of his leadership team, he signalled this to the rest of his team. He asked my opinion in meetings on topics above and beyond quality and he supported my ideas on improving quality casting a great shadow. This approach made me feel a valuable team member, like my voice and opinions mattered and that I had things to offer. I flourished in this role and delivered some really great work.
I had been asked to attend our Group Executive Leadership conference as part of a team facilitating the event. I arrived at the hotel the night before where there was a social meal for everyone which had been arranged. It was at a time in my career where I didn’t know many of the ELG and combined with the fact I am introverted and not a big fan of big social events, I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about attending. A little after the start time I took a reluctant walk down to the bar to get a beer and start to meet people. Standing at the bar waiting to be served a leader who I had not met before walked up. He said – “Do you want a beer?” as if I was a mate he’d know for a while. This immediately made me feel more at ease. We had some chat he enquired about more role and thoughts about the company and I asked him about himself. It really felt like a conversation of peers and equals despite the significant difference in hierarchy. He introduced me to a few other leader and from this I began to feel like I belonged there and had more confidence to strike up conversations with others.
In my first senior manager role, I was leading a significant sized team and trying to work out how to do this alongside being introverted. When I looked around the organisation most people were more outspoken than me, and I wondered how I would inspire my team while staying true to my personal style. I distinctly remember having a 1:2:1 with my line manager – an engineering Director who was really well respected across the group and who always spoke well at events. We discussed how I was feeling and he shared he was an introvert too and found public events challenging too. He encouraged me it was fine and to find my own style. Just by knowing he also struggled sometimes I felt better and like I wasn’t alone. And I went on to find my style and lead my team with ongoing encouragement and helpful feedback from him.
There was a period of time when I was suffering with poor mental health and struggling a bit. And despite trying all the recommended ways to manage it, I was feeling the impact of it on my ability to work well. I had to talk to my line manager about it. A conversation I was dreading as I wasn’t sure how to approach it and what to say. However, my line manager couldn’t have been more supportive. He shared he had also struggled in the past. He supported me to get some help and encouraged me to take some time out in the week when I needed it (which I initially felt I didn’t need, but then realised that I did and because he had given me the permission – it took the guilt away). By treating me with such empathy and care, he really helped me to feel supported and over a period of a couple of months I got help and got back to feeling ok again.
My last story is much more recent from my business development role. I was quite new to business development and hadn’t previously had a lot of experience with shaping deals or working with legal teams. As part of the deal we were working on I was needed to go to London to meet with our legal team and the partners legal teams. Although I was across all the services content of the deal I was unsure about how the legal aspects played out and how I would contribute in the meeting. So I was feeling a little nervous about my place and contribution. As the room was filling up with a LOT of lawyers all who seemed to know each other and be very experienced in this, I was a little intimidated. It was at that point that the Lead legal counsel of the partner we were working with came over and said “You post on LinkedIn don’t you?” I wondered a bit where this was going, so I tentatively said “Yes a bit” – He then followed up, speaking so the room could hear “ I really think the things you have to say are good! Compared to some of the content on there.” In one small action he had made me feel good! In front of the room he had validated me and from there on I felt much more comfortable and as if I had an important voice in the room.
The actions of these men, as illustrated through these stories, underscore the profound impact that supportive, inclusive, and empathetic leadership can have on an individual's career and well-being. By offering mentorship, recognizing contributions, fostering inclusivity, and showing genuine empathy, these leaders not only enhanced my professional development but also enriched the workplace culture. They exemplify how leadership, when executed with care and respect for individuality, can transform environments and inspire individuals to thrive. These experiences serve as powerful reminders of the role each of us can play in championing inclusivity and support, paving the way for a more inclusive and dynamic professional landscape.